Hiiiiiii!
Shaz here, pictured below after a particularly bad Joshua Tree high, to ground both you and me in reality. Welcome to Weed Read.
Here are the headlines: I am a first-generation Bangladeshi / Pakistani woman, work in film, live in LA, and am desperately seeking relief from financial & spiritual overwhelm. Overwhelm, I believe, is fundamental to all post-American-Dream twenty-somethings, so here I am on a hunt to find you introverted freaks!
Hence I have quietly arrived at one of the more respectable corners of the internet. Think of this as me building a house (publication) in the Minnesota wilderness (Substack), but I don’t actually have to move to Minnesota nor do I actually have to buy a house. Digital shelters! We make our own wealth. In my glorious vision, this pub will offer a sanctuary to take a load off and enjoy some of my favorite coping mechanisms: weed, pop culture, and food.
why?
Growing up, my mother would tearfully ask, “Be honest… Are you smoking weed?” on a regular basis. Here’s the funny thing: I wasn’t. I’m a sleepy girl, Taurus moon. Nature demands I nap for three hours minimum. Don’t need medical intervention for that. However, now that I’m fully in my late twents and my mother can’t control me (-ish), I’m leaning into the accusations.
My real journey with organic produce began at the University of California, Berkeley when a suitor offered me gummies from a sweaty Ziploc. It was a Halloween party, the theme was “Edgar Allan Hoes,” and I desired a vice! Where one romance faltered, the other turned into an everlasting love affair.
Joints were a no-go because I was a highly intentional & motivated “vocal artist” (sorry!), but I stayed on the edibles because I was also a self-hating anxious depressive. It totally helped! I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and learned about social responsibility! No, I didn’t go to class! Still graduated early, relax.
In this tradition but now at a much riper and hopefully wiser age, I’m gonna nosh on some delectable hybrid babies, and highlight some deserving and not-so-deserving media, from movies to reality TV to the odd Dungeons & Dragons campaign.
I’ll always cite the dosage, and I’ll always write irresponsibly. There is safety in controlled chaos. This is my solemn vow.
The Ritual
Weed Read’s first offering to you, dear reader, is The Ritual that combines ganj, pop culture, and food all at once. A personal formula tested many times over. Play along, or simply read, but please see the following for instructions:
Pop an edible. Whatever you like, but I go for the Pineapple Habanero Camino. She accents the food.
Make dal (lentils) and rice - or buy it, no shame. Take a jar of chili pickle (pictured below, don’t go rogue, get this brand) out of the fridge so it gets to room temp. Make desi salad - 1/4 onion diced, 2 sliced cucumbers, 2 thinly sliced thai chilis, salt, lemon juice. Keep cold.
Turn the TV on! Pick with your heart, and let the smells inspire you. Stardust feels perfect for this cocktail.
Adorn your full plate with chili pickle and salad and eat that shit as you watch under the soft side of a blanket. You know the side - the one that nestles best into the warmth of your body and after much getting to know each other, your skin and the fibers fall in love? Pants off required for the full effect!
disclaimer
Remember! You can’t hold me accountable for any opinions because inherent to this pursuit is plausible deniability. Can you hold a non-sober person responsible for not super fucking with The Godfather? Not here, go somewhere else <3
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also!
Started a tarot pod called Witch Sesh with my bicoastal bestie. It’s adorable AND informative. We ask kooky questions and use tarot to answer them. Find her at Worry Stone for wellness that isn’t obnoxious. More importantly, look at how cute we are!
in conclusion…
Byeeee! And yes, I wrote this on a tasteful 5 mg.
